physical!
I think I found the mountain that could contradict the 'Ain't no mountain high enough' song…and it was Mount Warning on Sunday.
Yeah…all right. Perhaps that's a little bit dramatic, I guess there's Everest, Kilimanjaro etcetera.
But for all intents and purposes, let's just say Mount Warning was a slight challenge. For me.
It was enough.
Every six to 12 months or so my older brother Nicholas decides that us kids should take mum on a hike, usually it's for an event like her birthday or Christmas or something.
I know. What.a.wonderful.present.
So, we set off on our trek…in Butterworth time which is always a good hour behind schedule.
We got to the base of the mountain and started the trail. My younger brother, Benny ambitiously started running up the mountain, despite a massive day of drinking at Brisbane's Oktoberfest the day prior.
Nick stuck with mum and I seemed to have set an okay pace so I was somewhere in the middle of the pack.
I was told it was a 4km up and 4km back hike with a vicious 200m scramble at the top with the help of a chain.
At the 1,500m mark when I thought i'd trekked 3.7km, I said to a passerby who was coming down the mountain, "G'day, how's it going? So….am I close to the top?"
"No."
Son of a bitch.
The people coming down the mountain were quite friendly but as I got closer to the top they started to get a bit smug.
"Hey, how's it going? …So…am I close to the top?"
The guy I asked was so full of pride that he'd made it to the top, "Oh yeah mate, you're almost there. You're doing well!"
After that, I didn't ask because I didn't want to know. I was just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.
But suddenly, people were offering encouragement like pamphlets outside an election booth.
"G'day…not long now! You're doing well!"
Times that by 10.
Yep...smug and patronising.
My exhaustion made me extremely sensitive and negative.
As I got close to the chain section which marked the beginning of the hard slog, I ran into Benny who was coming down from the summit. Of course, he'd made it to the top in record time and was leisurely jogging down.
"Benny! For the love of God, tell me I'm close!!!!??????"
"Nope, you've got about 2km to go….just kidding, about 200m."
Thinking Mum might have decided to call it a day as I hadn't seen her in a while, and didn't think I'd set much of a cracking pace, Benny suggested I head up to the top and come straight down.
So, like a lone venturer I scrambled up this mountain with the most ordinary rock climbing skills.
The smug people coming down the mountain got even smugger as the altitude increased.
"Don't worry…not long now! You're doing so well."
Not only was I scared of falling down the mountain at this stage, I was also scared of saying something rude back, even though these hikers, full of endorphins, were just being nice…albeit…smug.
With a little more of a hustle, I was finally at the summit.
I was hoping the top would pay some sort of homage to Enid Blyton's The Faraway Tree and there'd be a magical land or festival.
There wasn't. However, there was a guy sitting reading a book, a couple eating Caramello Koalas and some children eating ham sandwiches.
I was so hungry by this stage, I might have hallucinated that it was actually a dagwood dog reading the book.
Just kidding.
Why would a book be on a mountain?
After standing on each vantage point's platform for a good two minutes, I did as Benny had said and started to head down the mountain.
I started following the chain down the steep slope.
A family coming up the mountain passed me.
I was so frikkin' delighted that I'd made it to the top, I couldn't stop the words coming from my mouth as I gripped the chain and slid down the slope.
"Don't worry guys. You're almost at the top, you're doing well!"
Karma got the better of me and I fell off the mountain.
I didn't really. But no sooner did I start descending that Mum, the spritely fox, and Nick showed up.
I had to climb back up the mountain for happy snaps.
By that stage the dagwood dog and book were gone.
And there was still no festival.
-Ends-
…Looking pretty smug I'd say…
Yeah…all right. Perhaps that's a little bit dramatic, I guess there's Everest, Kilimanjaro etcetera.
But for all intents and purposes, let's just say Mount Warning was a slight challenge. For me.
It was enough.
Every six to 12 months or so my older brother Nicholas decides that us kids should take mum on a hike, usually it's for an event like her birthday or Christmas or something.
I know. What.a.wonderful.present.
So, we set off on our trek…in Butterworth time which is always a good hour behind schedule.
We got to the base of the mountain and started the trail. My younger brother, Benny ambitiously started running up the mountain, despite a massive day of drinking at Brisbane's Oktoberfest the day prior.
Nick stuck with mum and I seemed to have set an okay pace so I was somewhere in the middle of the pack.
I was told it was a 4km up and 4km back hike with a vicious 200m scramble at the top with the help of a chain.
At the 1,500m mark when I thought i'd trekked 3.7km, I said to a passerby who was coming down the mountain, "G'day, how's it going? So….am I close to the top?"
"No."
Son of a bitch.
The people coming down the mountain were quite friendly but as I got closer to the top they started to get a bit smug.
"Hey, how's it going? …So…am I close to the top?"
The guy I asked was so full of pride that he'd made it to the top, "Oh yeah mate, you're almost there. You're doing well!"
After that, I didn't ask because I didn't want to know. I was just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.
But suddenly, people were offering encouragement like pamphlets outside an election booth.
"G'day…not long now! You're doing well!"
Times that by 10.
Yep...smug and patronising.
My exhaustion made me extremely sensitive and negative.
As I got close to the chain section which marked the beginning of the hard slog, I ran into Benny who was coming down from the summit. Of course, he'd made it to the top in record time and was leisurely jogging down.
"Benny! For the love of God, tell me I'm close!!!!??????"
"Nope, you've got about 2km to go….just kidding, about 200m."
Thinking Mum might have decided to call it a day as I hadn't seen her in a while, and didn't think I'd set much of a cracking pace, Benny suggested I head up to the top and come straight down.
So, like a lone venturer I scrambled up this mountain with the most ordinary rock climbing skills.
The smug people coming down the mountain got even smugger as the altitude increased.
"Don't worry…not long now! You're doing so well."
Not only was I scared of falling down the mountain at this stage, I was also scared of saying something rude back, even though these hikers, full of endorphins, were just being nice…albeit…smug.
With a little more of a hustle, I was finally at the summit.
I was hoping the top would pay some sort of homage to Enid Blyton's The Faraway Tree and there'd be a magical land or festival.
There wasn't. However, there was a guy sitting reading a book, a couple eating Caramello Koalas and some children eating ham sandwiches.
I was so hungry by this stage, I might have hallucinated that it was actually a dagwood dog reading the book.
Just kidding.
Why would a book be on a mountain?
After standing on each vantage point's platform for a good two minutes, I did as Benny had said and started to head down the mountain.
I started following the chain down the steep slope.
A family coming up the mountain passed me.
I was so frikkin' delighted that I'd made it to the top, I couldn't stop the words coming from my mouth as I gripped the chain and slid down the slope.
"Don't worry guys. You're almost at the top, you're doing well!"
Karma got the better of me and I fell off the mountain.
I didn't really. But no sooner did I start descending that Mum, the spritely fox, and Nick showed up.
I had to climb back up the mountain for happy snaps.
By that stage the dagwood dog and book were gone.
And there was still no festival.
-Ends-
Comments
Post a Comment