Lights, camera...FLASH!
I don't get to attend castings very often, so when I do I like to make an impression.
Usually this "impression" means me trying to insinuate that I'm an actor that is easy to work with, punctual, and talented.
Last week when I got a text from my agent, "....casting at 5.30pm, wear beach attire" I thought, this is my chance!
I was stumped at the beach attire instruction. For one, it was a pretty damn cold afternoon, and secondly, I only had two pairs of togs - a hideous cheap pair purchased hastily a while back on the way to a pool party, and the second purchased when I was hungover on a Byron trip.
I chose the cheap first pair knowing aesthetics wouldn't matter as I was wearing a bright pink singlet over the top which would only hint I was wearing a bikini.
Parking my car I had a thought that I really should have tanned myself to fool the casting director into thinking I was actually outdoorsy. No filming budget could allow the amount of sunscreen that might be needed for my pasty skin should the ad be filmed on a beach.
I was slightly panicky as it had just gone 5.31pm and I still had 200 metres to run.
Punctual
Going through the doors of the agency I forced my panicked running-late-face to be a nonchalant I-do auditions-like-these-all-the-time face as I saw the 10 or so people waiting - all in various beach outfits.
About 15 minutes later I was called into the casting room with a few other actors.
I did my standard intro to camera before the casting director asked, getting me ready for the actual audition, "Did you wear a bikini under that singlet?"
"Ahhh, yes."
"Okay then - take your singlet off."
"Sure," I said in faux confidence trying to make it sound like I did these types of auditions all the time.
Really I was thinking, "Thanks goodness I ate a salad for lunch!"
My stomach was the least of my worries. I took off my singlet.
BANG!
The clasp on the back of my togs snapped open, my boobs were revealed to the world! Well, undramatically just the two casting directors and two other auditionees.
"Oops! I'm so sorry - let me just sort myself out!" I said embarrassed but still trying to maintain the, "I go for auditions like these ALL THE TIME!"
"You must really want the job!?" The casting director asked.
"Yep, you found me out - I do!" I replied, looking for more wit with none to be found.
I sorted myself out quickly and did the audition fine.
"Great you're done," the casting director said.
"Great, thanks for that!" I said, re-clothing myself and walking out the door. "Thanks....and sorry again for flashing you."
I haven't heard yet whether I've got the job. But it's only been a few days so a few scenarios could result:
1. Ring ring.
Me: Hello, Maree speaking.
Agent: Hi Maree you didn't get the job, but have you thought of adult entertainment?
Ring ring.
2. Me: Hello, Maree speaking.
Agent: Hi Maree - let's talk about audition etiquette.
Nah, I'm hanging for this one:
Ring ring.
3. Me: Hello, Maree speaking.
Agent: Hi Maree. You're hired - the both of you.
And that my friends, is how stars are born.
Usually this "impression" means me trying to insinuate that I'm an actor that is easy to work with, punctual, and talented.
Last week when I got a text from my agent, "....casting at 5.30pm, wear beach attire" I thought, this is my chance!
I was stumped at the beach attire instruction. For one, it was a pretty damn cold afternoon, and secondly, I only had two pairs of togs - a hideous cheap pair purchased hastily a while back on the way to a pool party, and the second purchased when I was hungover on a Byron trip.
I chose the cheap first pair knowing aesthetics wouldn't matter as I was wearing a bright pink singlet over the top which would only hint I was wearing a bikini.
Parking my car I had a thought that I really should have tanned myself to fool the casting director into thinking I was actually outdoorsy. No filming budget could allow the amount of sunscreen that might be needed for my pasty skin should the ad be filmed on a beach.
I was slightly panicky as it had just gone 5.31pm and I still had 200 metres to run.
Going through the doors of the agency I forced my panicked running-late-face to be a nonchalant I-do auditions-like-these-all-the-time face as I saw the 10 or so people waiting - all in various beach outfits.
About 15 minutes later I was called into the casting room with a few other actors.
I did my standard intro to camera before the casting director asked, getting me ready for the actual audition, "Did you wear a bikini under that singlet?"
"Ahhh, yes."
"Okay then - take your singlet off."
"Sure," I said in faux confidence trying to make it sound like I did these types of auditions all the time.
Really I was thinking, "Thanks goodness I ate a salad for lunch!"
My stomach was the least of my worries. I took off my singlet.
BANG!
The clasp on the back of my togs snapped open, my boobs were revealed to the world! Well, undramatically just the two casting directors and two other auditionees.
"Oops! I'm so sorry - let me just sort myself out!" I said embarrassed but still trying to maintain the, "I go for auditions like these ALL THE TIME!"
"You must really want the job!?" The casting director asked.
"Yep, you found me out - I do!" I replied, looking for more wit with none to be found.
I sorted myself out quickly and did the audition fine.
"Great you're done," the casting director said.
"Great, thanks for that!" I said, re-clothing myself and walking out the door. "Thanks....and sorry again for flashing you."
I haven't heard yet whether I've got the job. But it's only been a few days so a few scenarios could result:
1. Ring ring.
Me: Hello, Maree speaking.
Agent: Hi Maree you didn't get the job, but have you thought of adult entertainment?
Ring ring.
2. Me: Hello, Maree speaking.
Agent: Hi Maree - let's talk about audition etiquette.
Nah, I'm hanging for this one:
Ring ring.
3. Me: Hello, Maree speaking.
Agent: Hi Maree. You're hired - the both of you.
And that my friends, is how stars are born.
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