Let's get physical...
When it comes to time travel...well, what wouldn't it come to?
Anyway...where was I?
Oh, let's get PHYSICAL!
Apologies but this blog may be shorter than the last couple, ("Thank the lord!" I hear probably one of my only readers claim loudly in her head because she is reading it on public transport. She had to exclaim "thank the lord" in her head so not to disturb fellow passengers but in doing so, she's disturbed them even more because her eyebrows moved up with the inflection.)
The reason of the shortness is that I'm preparing to get "Geographical" and am about to fly off on an amazing Eurotrip and while I do rather love burdening people with my carefully scribed words, I don't have the time this week.
So, without further ado...
The end.
No, you're not getting off that easy... eyebrow girl.
Lately I've been pursuing all sorts of sports, when I say "lately" I more so mean for probably the best part of my life...beginning with Rugby Union in under 7s. It was awesome, the boys didn't want to tag me because I had girl germs! Things were going quite well for a bit there, until...in the last six months, I've ran into spots of bother.
The first bothering occasion was when I decided to insert a holiday at the tail end of a conference in New Zealand I was helping to run. Making the most of the snow..or lack of (it was a pretty bad season) I decided to dabble in a bit of snowboarding action.
I had skied before and of course was absolutely brilliant at it!! No, I was rubbish with absolutely no chance of reaching my 'peak' (huh, pun definitely intended) so this time I decided I would give snow boarding a red hot crack....funny choice of words that is, because I ended up thinking I'd broken my coccyx before I realised I'd pretty much just broken my left ass cheek.
Fortunately, I had ice at the ready to immediately apply. This came in the form of just sitting in the snow... as a single tear rolled from my tear ducts and fogged up my goggles.
My new snowboarding friend...who actually does look cool snowboarding, asked if I was ok and gave me permission to stagger up the stairs and find a vantage point while I indulged in a hot chocolate, my daily "Cookie Time" cookie and tried to elevate the left side of my body to give my bum some relief.
Did I mention I injured myself on the kiddie run? Because it wasn't the kiddie run...
While I could make that little anecdote the "butt" of all my jokes, I think I'll take the higher ground and continue to the "rear" of this blog...which I promise is getting there.
So, my second little disaster didn't take place until just before Christmas. A perfect time for little annoying incidents to occur!
I was driving my friend to dodgeball...yes...dodgeball. With the movie and all, I'm still deciding whether the concept is "art imitating life" or "life imitating art" or something like that.
This is the very short and sweet intro for you if you haven't seen the movie or had the privilege to partake in the game. Basically all you need to do is, at all costs, avoid getting hit by the ball, which is quite squishy and painless.
It's pretty much just a glorified game of brandy...except when you're the only person left and the other team has about five guys, you kind of feel like you're in front of a firing squad, not just in front of your brother who has secretively exchanged a tennis ball for a cricket ball. I'm not playing! I told you Nick, I'm not playing!!! Oh it's my turn....okay I'll play.
Anyway, as luck would have it, my lack of dodging began before I had even set foot on the court. Waiting at a set of lights at Bowen Hills (Brissy) a car ran into the back of me and forced expletives to be exerted from my mouth that I'd never even dreamt of saying before...ever.
"You couldn't dodge that," was the running joke, mostly from my father who thinks he's a comedian.
They say good things and bad things come in threes; the Bee Gees, the holy trinity, the car Mr Bean hated only had three wheels, the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy (150 Shades of Filth, I like to call it), American Pie should have stopped at three and...the greens, yellows and reds on the Monopoly board.... I'm clutching at straws now!
.....So, I'm now expecting my third run-in. But I'm wondering if it's already occurred.
Do you know how you can get those really lame magnets for your fridge giving all sorts of words of wisdom? Most are meant to be hilarious so when you're reaching for the soy milk in the morning you're meant to feel elated instead of sad that you are lactose in tolerant.
Well, I read one once and it was: "Never lend your car to whom you have given birth". Just like whoever invented those little "My family" stickers for cars, perhaps I could make a mint by starting a business selling really dodgy fridge magnets. My first one will be: "Never play sport with someone who pays your bills".
My boss and I have been playing a weekly game of squash for about a year and things are getting quite fierce. It's a shame really, she was really quite bad at first and now she's improved! I wish I had of told her that it's customary in squash for everyone to play with the opposite to their strong arm. I could totally have pulled off this elaborate prank in real life by doing everything at work with my left hand before carving up on the squash court. Competition is tight but fortunately I'm winning the never ending tournament by four points..it might be three. Anyway... almost every second week I come away with a circular mark on my back that looks like a paint-ball injury.
Well, at least I'm still getting paid!
I really need to win this competition but I am my own worst enemy. I've realised I can predict my loss. If I have sugar and a late night before a game, it's my kryptonite.
So as I sit here with a glass of vino in my hand at about 10.45pm on squash-match eve I think: Oh dear.
Weekly invention: A fan that can monitor the heat in the room and increase its levels when it needs to.....oh damn, that's an air-conditioning unit.
Until next week, happy Australia Day and I'll write to you next week in Budapest!
Gees, that was pretty long after all.....
Anyway...where was I?
Oh, let's get PHYSICAL!
Apologies but this blog may be shorter than the last couple, ("Thank the lord!" I hear probably one of my only readers claim loudly in her head because she is reading it on public transport. She had to exclaim "thank the lord" in her head so not to disturb fellow passengers but in doing so, she's disturbed them even more because her eyebrows moved up with the inflection.)
The reason of the shortness is that I'm preparing to get "Geographical" and am about to fly off on an amazing Eurotrip and while I do rather love burdening people with my carefully scribed words, I don't have the time this week.
So, without further ado...
The end.
No, you're not getting off that easy... eyebrow girl.
Lately I've been pursuing all sorts of sports, when I say "lately" I more so mean for probably the best part of my life...beginning with Rugby Union in under 7s. It was awesome, the boys didn't want to tag me because I had girl germs! Things were going quite well for a bit there, until...in the last six months, I've ran into spots of bother.
The first bothering occasion was when I decided to insert a holiday at the tail end of a conference in New Zealand I was helping to run. Making the most of the snow..or lack of (it was a pretty bad season) I decided to dabble in a bit of snowboarding action.
I had skied before and of course was absolutely brilliant at it!! No, I was rubbish with absolutely no chance of reaching my 'peak' (huh, pun definitely intended) so this time I decided I would give snow boarding a red hot crack....funny choice of words that is, because I ended up thinking I'd broken my coccyx before I realised I'd pretty much just broken my left ass cheek.
Fortunately, I had ice at the ready to immediately apply. This came in the form of just sitting in the snow... as a single tear rolled from my tear ducts and fogged up my goggles.
My new snowboarding friend...who actually does look cool snowboarding, asked if I was ok and gave me permission to stagger up the stairs and find a vantage point while I indulged in a hot chocolate, my daily "Cookie Time" cookie and tried to elevate the left side of my body to give my bum some relief.
Did I mention I injured myself on the kiddie run? Because it wasn't the kiddie run...
While I could make that little anecdote the "butt" of all my jokes, I think I'll take the higher ground and continue to the "rear" of this blog...which I promise is getting there.
So, my second little disaster didn't take place until just before Christmas. A perfect time for little annoying incidents to occur!
I was driving my friend to dodgeball...yes...dodgeball. With the movie and all, I'm still deciding whether the concept is "art imitating life" or "life imitating art" or something like that.
This is the very short and sweet intro for you if you haven't seen the movie or had the privilege to partake in the game. Basically all you need to do is, at all costs, avoid getting hit by the ball, which is quite squishy and painless.
It's pretty much just a glorified game of brandy...except when you're the only person left and the other team has about five guys, you kind of feel like you're in front of a firing squad, not just in front of your brother who has secretively exchanged a tennis ball for a cricket ball. I'm not playing! I told you Nick, I'm not playing!!! Oh it's my turn....okay I'll play.
Anyway, as luck would have it, my lack of dodging began before I had even set foot on the court. Waiting at a set of lights at Bowen Hills (Brissy) a car ran into the back of me and forced expletives to be exerted from my mouth that I'd never even dreamt of saying before...ever.
"You couldn't dodge that," was the running joke, mostly from my father who thinks he's a comedian.
They say good things and bad things come in threes; the Bee Gees, the holy trinity, the car Mr Bean hated only had three wheels, the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy (150 Shades of Filth, I like to call it), American Pie should have stopped at three and...the greens, yellows and reds on the Monopoly board.... I'm clutching at straws now!
.....So, I'm now expecting my third run-in. But I'm wondering if it's already occurred.
Do you know how you can get those really lame magnets for your fridge giving all sorts of words of wisdom? Most are meant to be hilarious so when you're reaching for the soy milk in the morning you're meant to feel elated instead of sad that you are lactose in tolerant.
Well, I read one once and it was: "Never lend your car to whom you have given birth". Just like whoever invented those little "My family" stickers for cars, perhaps I could make a mint by starting a business selling really dodgy fridge magnets. My first one will be: "Never play sport with someone who pays your bills".
My boss and I have been playing a weekly game of squash for about a year and things are getting quite fierce. It's a shame really, she was really quite bad at first and now she's improved! I wish I had of told her that it's customary in squash for everyone to play with the opposite to their strong arm. I could totally have pulled off this elaborate prank in real life by doing everything at work with my left hand before carving up on the squash court. Competition is tight but fortunately I'm winning the never ending tournament by four points..it might be three. Anyway... almost every second week I come away with a circular mark on my back that looks like a paint-ball injury.
Well, at least I'm still getting paid!
I really need to win this competition but I am my own worst enemy. I've realised I can predict my loss. If I have sugar and a late night before a game, it's my kryptonite.
So as I sit here with a glass of vino in my hand at about 10.45pm on squash-match eve I think: Oh dear.
Weekly invention: A fan that can monitor the heat in the room and increase its levels when it needs to.....oh damn, that's an air-conditioning unit.
Until next week, happy Australia Day and I'll write to you next week in Budapest!
Gees, that was pretty long after all.....
Comments
Post a Comment