The quest to be hilarious.
Can you interpret dreams? Good. Interpret this.
The other night in my dream Dad asked me to go out and buy a lamb.
I came back with a goat.
Fortunately Dad didn't ask me to go out and get a toga, otherwise I'd be questioning if I was dyslexic (I stole that insensitive joke from someone - I think it was my brother Nick. He's so uncouth. Yep, totally making Nick my 'scapegoat' for that one…ahhh.
If you haven't realised this already, my brain doesn't switch off, and probably never will. It's something that I have accepted.
What goes through my mind late at night when the world is sleeping? Not a lot of useful things if I'm honest. Often for a good hour I'll be sniggering to myself about something hilarious I said 10 hours earlier, or a year ago. Before you know it it's midnight.
When I went to bed last Sunday, I was kept awake by my earlier wit.
I had watched 60 Minutes with my little brother, Benny and sis-in-law, Olivia.
Anyway, we were watching one of the journos as she was about to go swimming with some great white sharks.
"She gets all the good stories," Benny said.
"Yeah, she's pretty good though hey....Good old Allison Langdon. Well she's more like Allison Plankton tonight...(get it...shark...water...marine items)."
Olivia cracked up laughing right on cue (much thanks Olly). Benny smirked slightly and gave me a fist-bump and that was enough for me.
So pretty much for the past week, like a 'barnacle to a whale', I've been trying to stick with the jokes…who am I kidding, the lame jokes come naturally.
I really am a sucker for puns though…or just for any bit of wit I can muster.
As you might recall, one of my resolutions is to deliver a standup comedy routine by the end of the year. Hmmm. I'm already hearing crickets.
Earlier in the week at work, we were discussing a promo which had launched. It's to find Australia's fittest chicken. See the competition website here.
It got me thinking about when we were kids and Nick would hypnotise a rooster which was called Joseph - which referred to his colourful coat - a tribute to Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat. I can't decide whether Nick was extremely religious in his youth, or just had a thing for Andrew Lloyd Webber.
"Why would you hypnotise a rooster?" my colleague asked me, somewhat not surprised of my random story. I have a reputation for being the workplace clown.
"I dunno, so we could tell it to ahh... 'cluck like a chicken'."
Ba-dum ching.
Laughter did ensue, however, not as much as I would have liked. My colleagues didn't know at first whether to laugh….or cry. In my opinion it was a joke that was so obvious that it was funny.
Like Ricky Gervais', "What does a crab do when it gets drunk?"
I dunno Ricky, what does a crab do when it gets drunk?
"Walk forward."
It's hard to deliver a lame joke when writing.
Hmmm, all my jokes this week have been animal related. Interesting. And quite 'Dad-joke-like".
*penny drops.
Now I get what my dream was about. Dad was giving me a warning, "Maree, you'll be tempted to make rubbish jokes relating to animals this week."
If he had spoken in my dream he might have gone on to say, "When tempted to make a Dad joke remember, you'll never be as good as me."
And that comment would have really "got my goat".
The end.
The other night in my dream Dad asked me to go out and buy a lamb.
I came back with a goat.
Fortunately Dad didn't ask me to go out and get a toga, otherwise I'd be questioning if I was dyslexic (I stole that insensitive joke from someone - I think it was my brother Nick. He's so uncouth. Yep, totally making Nick my 'scapegoat' for that one…ahhh.
If you haven't realised this already, my brain doesn't switch off, and probably never will. It's something that I have accepted.
What goes through my mind late at night when the world is sleeping? Not a lot of useful things if I'm honest. Often for a good hour I'll be sniggering to myself about something hilarious I said 10 hours earlier, or a year ago. Before you know it it's midnight.
When I went to bed last Sunday, I was kept awake by my earlier wit.
I had watched 60 Minutes with my little brother, Benny and sis-in-law, Olivia.
Anyway, we were watching one of the journos as she was about to go swimming with some great white sharks.
"She gets all the good stories," Benny said.
"Yeah, she's pretty good though hey....Good old Allison Langdon. Well she's more like Allison Plankton tonight...(get it...shark...water...marine items)."
Olivia cracked up laughing right on cue (much thanks Olly). Benny smirked slightly and gave me a fist-bump and that was enough for me.
So pretty much for the past week, like a 'barnacle to a whale', I've been trying to stick with the jokes…who am I kidding, the lame jokes come naturally.
I really am a sucker for puns though…or just for any bit of wit I can muster.
As you might recall, one of my resolutions is to deliver a standup comedy routine by the end of the year. Hmmm. I'm already hearing crickets.
Earlier in the week at work, we were discussing a promo which had launched. It's to find Australia's fittest chicken. See the competition website here.
It got me thinking about when we were kids and Nick would hypnotise a rooster which was called Joseph - which referred to his colourful coat - a tribute to Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat. I can't decide whether Nick was extremely religious in his youth, or just had a thing for Andrew Lloyd Webber.
"Why would you hypnotise a rooster?" my colleague asked me, somewhat not surprised of my random story. I have a reputation for being the workplace clown.
"I dunno, so we could tell it to ahh... 'cluck like a chicken'."
Ba-dum ching.
Laughter did ensue, however, not as much as I would have liked. My colleagues didn't know at first whether to laugh….or cry. In my opinion it was a joke that was so obvious that it was funny.
Like Ricky Gervais', "What does a crab do when it gets drunk?"
I dunno Ricky, what does a crab do when it gets drunk?
"Walk forward."
It's hard to deliver a lame joke when writing.
Hmmm, all my jokes this week have been animal related. Interesting. And quite 'Dad-joke-like".
*penny drops.
Now I get what my dream was about. Dad was giving me a warning, "Maree, you'll be tempted to make rubbish jokes relating to animals this week."
If he had spoken in my dream he might have gone on to say, "When tempted to make a Dad joke remember, you'll never be as good as me."
And that comment would have really "got my goat".
The end.
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