Let's get physical!!!


This post is going to discuss two elements that come into play when you exercise, the thought of: "Am I too old to be doing this?" and "I think exercise decreases my brain cells significantly..before and after.. ."

Discussion 1: Am I too old to be doing this?

The other day when I was riding a pogo stick and crashed into a trampoline....no that hasn't happened...yet. 

Last night, I was at my weekly jazz class. There is a move in our dance where you jump as high as you can and then delicately plummet to the ground, landing on your bum and tilting backwards to flip your legs over to be standing up...it's kind of like a continued "yoga plough" position? I don't think I'm describing that very well, just think of something very awkward and you'll get a vision of me in all my non-dancing-glory.

Over the last few weeks I've done the move about five times per dance class, so probably about 30 times...let's also include the time I tried to show my boss during our squash game break and ended up with a self-diagnosed hypochondriac - infused, dislocated shoulder. Really just a bruise to nurse for the coming three days.

So, of the 30 times I've done this in class i've:

1) been propelled by my momentum and smashed my head before jumping up for the next move and feeling quite dizzy
2) Sailed back hoping the momentum would carry me over but alas, I've got stuck like a whale that moonlights as a contortionist
3) Tried to roll backwards and ended up in a foetal position on my side, tempted to rock gently and give up dance once and for all
4) Went to jump but then decided against it and pretended to do it knowing everyone would have been upside down at this stage and wouldn't notice me cheating
5) so on, so on, so onnnnn.

Last night, I jumped up after hitting my head fiercely for the billionth time (I never was good at maths) and forgot the next dance move because of concussion. I decided to fill in the next 30 seconds with impromptu rhythm and blues dancing. This is when the thought rudely crossed my mind, "Am I to old for this?"

I am only 25, but dancing is quite strenuous and reliant upon a limber body to placate the fierce moves. Perhaps I ought to try something a little more light on....waltzing, water zumba...chess? Even a game of golf wouldn't go astray (of course utilising a golf buggy to avoid an injury associated with a leisurely stroll holding clubs).

My mum always says "when you're young you just 'fall over'" "when you're old you 'have a fall". I think I need to have rails installed in the shower so I don't break my hip from - a fall.

The next point of discussion for this essay...I mean post, is how your brain cells decrease before and after exercise...well mine do anyway.

This was my morning the other day: I pressed snooze on my alarm for a good 15 minutes, only allowed myself 20 minutes to get organised, and get to my squash playing destination...17 minutes away.

I found a tremendous car park (when you're tired you accidentally call it a "par cark" ..don't you?), and trudged up the stairs feeling angry with the world and predicting a squash thrashing. I got to the door and pushed the door instead of pulling it (even though it was an automatic sliding door), finally got through it and almost tripped on the welcome mat (I'm theatrical...some call this a fall, I call it an 'entrance').

As I got to the reception desk I offered my Woolworth's shop and save key tag instead of my gym membership key tag to my favourite gym reception guy who, I'm sad to report, .was...dressed...in..a...super...hero....costume. Whattt!!! The hot guy was speaking to one of his colleagues who was wearing a bear suit.

Was I sleeping? Oh crap...had I pressed snooze again?

No.

"uhhh....what's with the costumes?" I said blinking heavily, trying to wake myself up and through sleepy, squinty eyes, trying to look slightly attractive to this super hot, superhero.

"It's open day!"

"Of course it is...for what...a circus....I mean...have a good day!" (then I strode off in the direction of the squash courts using my racket as a conductors wand as if I was leading a marching band).

Weekly invention: The other day I was eating grapes (it's my favourite pastime). I tipped the bag of grapes into a colander to rinse. I had a massive bunch in my hand but wasn't satisfied so, as I clung to that bunch I picked loose grapes from the bottom of the colander. In one greedy swoop, I knocked the colander of grapes into the dirty dishwater in the sink below and with a splash, the grapes landed into the water that was flavoured with the morning's pancake and bacon juices from dirty cuttlery. I rescued the colander, now full of greasy bacon grapes, from the sink and paused for about 10 minutes wondering what I should do next. Before I tossed them into the bin I had a brilliant idea.
"That's not an accident," I thought to myself. "I've just come up with a new hybrid."

The end...do you feel like bacon now? 

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