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Where was I? Oh.
Let's get FARCICAL!
I was involved in an incident on Tuesday which could have been a scene from a farce.
No one likes Tuesday...and on this particular Tuesday I had a meeting...let's just say it was very, very important. Was it important? Let's just say....yes.
So, my colleague and I arrived at this meeting, all dolled up in business attire which is big for me, as where ever I can get away with it - I usually just go for casual.
To make you feel part of the moment, I'll now switch to present tense....(you may or not like to insert a harp or chime sound here as if we're going back in time).
We walk through the door to the reception and realise we are about 15 minutes early. No one is at reception so I decide to insert a loo dash into the next three minutes (don't worry, this won't be time for some toilet humour).
I reach for the door handle to exit the reception, but alas - there is no door handle! Someone before us has underestimated his or her strength and ripped it clean off the wall. They did this and probably looked left and then right making sure no one had seen them before placing it nonchalantly on the nearby shelf and aborting their toilet mission. Realising I cannot now exit, I do the same. I walk back to my colleague knowing that she has been watching my efforts closely.
Standing next to her, I decide I'm not yet defeated - I do really need to go to the toilet.
I walk back to the door for a second attempt. This time, I place the handle into the door and try to maneovre the door open precariously. This time a spring falls out of the hole from the door which used to house the handle. The bar within the hole falls out and lands on the floor gracefully.
Now I'm defeated - and now I'm concerned someone will suddenly appear at reception and I will be treated like a vandal.
I place the handle back on the shelf and whistle to myself. Whistling to oneself in moments like these definitely does not draw attention to what has occurred.
Looking down in my hands in despair, knowing I'll have to last three hours without a toilet intermission, I realise they are covered in grease. (This is not the time for an impromptu recital of the musical of the same name)
There are just two minutes now before the meeting and my hands are dirty, AND I have not yet peed.
Right..time to count my losses and find the staff room to clean my soiled hands!
That done, someone walks into the area and as they reach for the door they discover the broken door handle.
"Look what you did!!!" I exclaim accusingly to this unsuspecting IT fellow.
The end....I'm sorry, in a farce, the door would suddenly open and someone would be on the other side with a cart of pies and the momentum would exert me forward and I'd plummet into a delicious lemon meringue.
Weekly invention: Perhaps as soon as I think of an appointment I have pending, a note is make in my electronic diary directly from the thoughts from my noggin.
Now it's the end....you may go.
Where was I? Oh.
Let's get FARCICAL!
I was involved in an incident on Tuesday which could have been a scene from a farce.
No one likes Tuesday...and on this particular Tuesday I had a meeting...let's just say it was very, very important. Was it important? Let's just say....yes.
So, my colleague and I arrived at this meeting, all dolled up in business attire which is big for me, as where ever I can get away with it - I usually just go for casual.
To make you feel part of the moment, I'll now switch to present tense....(you may or not like to insert a harp or chime sound here as if we're going back in time).
We walk through the door to the reception and realise we are about 15 minutes early. No one is at reception so I decide to insert a loo dash into the next three minutes (don't worry, this won't be time for some toilet humour).
I reach for the door handle to exit the reception, but alas - there is no door handle! Someone before us has underestimated his or her strength and ripped it clean off the wall. They did this and probably looked left and then right making sure no one had seen them before placing it nonchalantly on the nearby shelf and aborting their toilet mission. Realising I cannot now exit, I do the same. I walk back to my colleague knowing that she has been watching my efforts closely.
Standing next to her, I decide I'm not yet defeated - I do really need to go to the toilet.
I walk back to the door for a second attempt. This time, I place the handle into the door and try to maneovre the door open precariously. This time a spring falls out of the hole from the door which used to house the handle. The bar within the hole falls out and lands on the floor gracefully.
Now I'm defeated - and now I'm concerned someone will suddenly appear at reception and I will be treated like a vandal.
I place the handle back on the shelf and whistle to myself. Whistling to oneself in moments like these definitely does not draw attention to what has occurred.
Looking down in my hands in despair, knowing I'll have to last three hours without a toilet intermission, I realise they are covered in grease. (This is not the time for an impromptu recital of the musical of the same name)
There are just two minutes now before the meeting and my hands are dirty, AND I have not yet peed.
Right..time to count my losses and find the staff room to clean my soiled hands!
That done, someone walks into the area and as they reach for the door they discover the broken door handle.
"Look what you did!!!" I exclaim accusingly to this unsuspecting IT fellow.
The end....I'm sorry, in a farce, the door would suddenly open and someone would be on the other side with a cart of pies and the momentum would exert me forward and I'd plummet into a delicious lemon meringue.
Weekly invention: Perhaps as soon as I think of an appointment I have pending, a note is make in my electronic diary directly from the thoughts from my noggin.
Now it's the end....you may go.
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